Editorial Board

A Refereed Monthly International Journal of Management

Book Review: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Author

Name of Author: Dale Carnegie, Place of Publication: New York, United States, Publisher: SIMON & SCHUSTER , Year of publication: Revised Edition, 2011, Number of pages: 304 pages, Price: Rs 470

Introduction

How to win friends and influence people’ is a pioneer self-help book in its genre. The author of the book is Dale Carnegie and it was first published in 1936. Since its first publication eighty years ago, it has sold over 30 million copiesworldwide and has been edited and re-printed numerous times. This book was on the Time magazine’s 100 most influential books list in the year 2011. This book helps the readers in changing how the world views and treats them by focusing on changing self-behavior. This book is truly among one of the most influential business and communication skills guide. The author provides easy analogies and examples to which one can relate to, and teaches you skills to make people like you and your company, perceive things the way you want them to perceive them, and feel wonderful about it.

The author has described every step in a motivational chapter filled with suitable real life examples which not only influences the thinking of a reader but also helps him/ her to identify his strengths and weakness in a very simple way. “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself”. This statement was given by Galileo which suits suitable to the lessons and experiences given by Dale Carnegie in his book ‘How to win friends and influence people’.

The book is divided into parts and each part into several chapters and each chapter is a collection of experiences of people from managerial level to operational level. The books begin with a very important aspect of life, that is., you can’t win an argument. The authors says yes, we can surely never win an argument because if you lost it; you lost it; and if you win it, you lose it. As if we argue with another person and shoot points at him and prove him wrong, then you will certainly feel fine but what about him, his feelings and pride will get hurt. He will feel inferior and thus aman convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.This lesson teaches us the value of the opinion of others and how we can improve our argument by not hurting the feelings of the other person. As we proceed in the book we find that how the words said in anger can ruin the things whereas the same words and thoughts if represented or said in a right way or manner can really do wonders. This we come to learn in the chapter ‘ A drop of honey’ where Carnegie has beautifully explained the example of Daniel Webster.

Daniel Webster was one of the most successful advocates who ever pleaded a case; yet he ushered in his most powerful arguments with such friendly remarks as: This may, perhaps, be worth thinking of, or you with your knowledge of human nature etc. He never attempted to force his opinion on others. He used soft-spoken, quiet, friendly approach which helped him to make famous. Thus, a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. In a nutshell, the first part of the book mainly deals with the Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking. The chapter like that you can’t win an argument , how to avoid making enemies, if you are wrong admit it to an appeal that everybody likes, clearly focuses on developing positive thoughts in a person which surely results in a friendly and attractive personality.

The second part deals with how to be a person who is welcomed everywhere and for this, one should practice these six golden rules. The first rule stated by the author is that show a genuine interest in other people. Showing a genuine interest in others help them develop an affection towards the person. The second rule is smile. A smile is the best ornament one can wear. It increases the face value of all without spending a single penny. The third rule he discussed is to make use a person’s name as it is the sweetest and most important sound in any language to him or her. The fourth rule as discussed by the author is to be a good listener. The fifth rule is to talk in relation to other person’s interests. The last but not the least he emphasized on making the other person feel important. These are not only rules instead these are the ways to become a person who is adored by everyone, whose presence holds importance always.

The third part of the book deals with that a person’s success is not only improving himself but also encouraging and motivating others as it is rightly said by Confucius that To be in one’s own heart in kindly sympathy with all things; this is the nature of righteousness. The rules which the author discuss in this part are as follows. First, he says always begin a conversation with praise. Second, if you want to call attention to people’s mistakes, do that indirectly. Third, before criticizing the other person, talk about your own mistakes so that the other person doesn’t feel bad. Fourth, always let the other person save his face. Fifth, he emphasized on praising every improvement shown by others to build a good repo with them. Sixth, try to give the other person a good reputation to live up to. Last, he suggested making the other person happy about doing whatever you suggest.

The fourth and the last part of the book consist of the fundamental techniques of handling people. This part is filled with letters and examples. The last part teaches us fundamentals like not to condemn, complain or criticize, give honest appreciation to others and avoiding not flattery and arousing in the other person a desire for the object. These all the rules are actually the ways to improve yourself. If we apply the half of the rules to our life which are discussed in book than we can really bring the change in our thinking and personality. The chapters not only teach how to think but also teach how to respond and express our views in different circumstances.

Though the book is written several decades ago but still it holds importance in today’s time too. All the parts in the book are stepping stones in developing a person to have a positive attitude in the righteous manner. This book has great usage in management as I feel that this is a basic book which tells us how to deal with people and become a people person. Through this book, the author tries to inculcate some basic characteristics that an individual should have or practice in his/her life. The author has emphasized on smiling, motivating self and others, benefits of encouragement, avoiding criticizing others, not to beat around the bush, avoiding argument and respect and appreciate others.

The approach of handling your emotions in a heated debate or discussion is one of the most important approaches as in our daily life we come across certain situation where we lose control on our emotions thus resulting into a heated argument and hurt of pride of people. But, if on the other hand if we have handled the situation by analyzing the facts than the situation can be a win- win situation.In last it can be concluded that the language and the examples used are simple and clear and helped me to drive my mind in a right direction. Carnegie had told us how to hone our innate human abilities and put them to effective use. He told us how to make the most of our resources and achieve our fullest potential.